Grief this Thanksgiving week
It was Thanksgiving morning and I didn’t feel like doing ANYTHING. I didn’t feel like cooking, eating, getting dressed, seeing people, etc.😓 11/24/22
- This whole week I’ve felt the weight of grief strongly. Holidays just aren’t the same since becoming a widow.
- Not even a full year into widowhood when I stopped, dropped, and rolled to Houston for 8 months to care for my sick dad until his passing. Yesterday (11/23) made 2 years.
- Also Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving and the anniversary of my dad’s passing, I got the call that my grandmother wasn’t doing well and that we should rush to see her. We did and long story short, we’re basically waiting for her to pass any day. That day came Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.
- In a nutshell, the bottom line is that I don’t have my husband. Celebrating holidays were “his” thing. Because he was the daily cook, I was the holiday cook but he did always make gumbo on the holidays.
- It’s de ja vu because everyday I am to come back to the realization that he’s gone forever. There’s absolutely no chance of us living the dreams we planned, becoming grandparents together, trips together, Seabreeze Jazz Fest together, dinners and brunches together, Mardi Gras together, Saints games together, or even a simple conversation ever again. This is one of the hardest things in life and no one can help me. There’s absolutely no way to understand unless you’re here or have been HERE. I don’t expect others, who are not widows, to understand…at all. I just wish I had the support system from the ones I expected and/or want it from.
- Through all of this, I’ve learned how to suffer in silence alone while on this journey to ultimate grace. Everyday is “different” but I love life and plan to continue living it…
- On a brighter note, because it is Thanksgiving, I’d like to say that I am thankful for the people who are a part of my life and definitely for Geaux Naturalle. The research and learning, creating and crafting, and definitely the consumption of my work brings me peace.